Come April, I will be moving out of my current apartment. Because of this, in order to not lose money on an empty apartment, my landlord has begun doing showings. I hate apartment showings. I’m generally an awkward person, and even more so when I know strangers will be traipsing around my abode, judging me on my choice of duvet cover and laundry detergent. My bedroom is filled with embarrassing things that I don’t want strangers to see. Some examples of embarrassing things in my bedroom:
- Nemo-face pillow, two teddy bears, and a beanie baby hedgehog on my bed. Same reason as above, except replace “pretty” with “cute and fuzzy”.
- Picture on my wall, given to me by my sister. It’s of a squirrel holding an acorn, and it says “I Love You Unconditionally Forever”. It makes me feel better when I’m stressed, but to other people it probably looks like I’m emotionally needy.
- Box of stuff that I never unpacked. I’ve lived here for 9 months, and there’s still an unpacked box of junk sitting at the foot of my bed. I should probably just throw it out, but I won’t, because I don’t like throwing stuff away.
- Plethora of scented candles. I just really like stuff that smells nice, and candles, but it probably looks like I’m smelly and need to cover it up with twelve different candles all at once.
That’s all I feel like listing right now, but there’s loads more embarrassing stuff. And that’s just my bedroom. The bathroom is even worse. I have a whole package of toilet paper next to the toilet because it won’t fit in the cupboard under the sink, but strangers don’t know that. They probably think I have some horrible bowel problems, so I need a constant supply of 24 rolls of toilet paper.
The worst is when I have to show the apartment myself. This doesn’t often happen, but the other night two girls showed up and asked to see the place. They looked nice enough, and Boyfriend was here, so I felt safe enough to let them in. I then proceeded to make a complete fool of myself. I tend to ramble when I’m nervous. In this case, I rambled about the apartment, and probably ended up sharing WAY too much information. I don’t remember the exact details, but part of the conversation probably went like this:
Me: So, anything you want to know about the apartment?
Them: How’s the noise from upstairs?
Me: Not too bad. You can hear them walking around sometimes. And the girl above my room gets up at 5:30am to go to the gym or something. But it’s ok. I take naps sometimes and it’s annoying if they walk around then, but I have insomnia, so I’m always taking naps, and I’m sure you guys won’t take nearly as many naps as I do, so noise while you’re trying to nap shouldn’t be too much of a problem… Hahaha…
That last part was me laughing awkwardly to try not to seem like a crazy, nap-obsessed person. They were nice enough to laugh along. I then made a joke about how I was glad they just wanted to look at the apartment, and that they weren’t here to kill me. It went even more downhill from there, and everyone left feeling awkward.
Basically, that’s why I can’t make new friends. I get awkward and overshare. They shouldn’t let me be present in my own apartment while they’re showing it, in case I turn people off of signing the lease. Or maybe I should wear a sign around my neck:
DON’T WORRY: SOCIALLY AWKWARD GIRL DOES NOT COME WITH APARTMENT
Maybe that will help. Anyhow, I must be off. They’re showing in 5 minutes, and I have to go hide my bras and stuffed animals.
Cheers,
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